Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Randomize
