I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize