before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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