got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
