how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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