How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
