it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
