thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So vagazzling was a success
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
