After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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