Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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