I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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