i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
