sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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