Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
