Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
