I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
