I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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