Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
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