dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize