Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
