Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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