i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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