Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
