And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
