im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
