just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
