dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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