I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
