i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
