I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
