Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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