This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
