he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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