thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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