You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
