He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the day after is always just damage control
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
