Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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