love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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