ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
