I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
