i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
