I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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