he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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