Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize