I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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