You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
