Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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