Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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