I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
