i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
