Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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