Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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