PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
