There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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