bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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