come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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