I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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