Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
