WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
