I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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