Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
