No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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