so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The air was thick with penises
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
