just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
