"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize